blog time na naman… alam nyo naman internet and blogging are my bestfriends… tagal ko na gusto ilabas ang sama ng loob ko.. i want to vent it out and feel light… time and money just uncooperative.. anyway, i have been quiet depressed… well, i guess depress is such a strong word but im not the usual me…
neweiz, im no longer living with my sister… im living with my friends.. i moved out.. the reason?.. i hate to tell, but i will tell it anyway is that “pinagpalit nya ako sa kaibigan nya”…
it hurts because she is or was my sister, and when her friend came everything has changed..
i never even really want to come with her.. nagaaway na kami ni mama dahil ayaw ko talaga.. i know d kami magkakasundo.. i finaly agreed with my mom but we had a pact that i can go back home if things wont work with us… but when i was living with my sister, i tried my best to be a good sister… i was almost like a robot.. i tried my best not to say no.. i agree to everything she say… though im not denying the fact that sometimes we will have some disagreement, but i always end up crying silently inside our room.. i know i have nowhere to run.. she is my sister and i dont want to leave her… i love her..
when kuya paul stayed with us, i didnt mind.. i dont like the idea of them livng together but i can do nothing… i dont want us to fight or argue… plus, she’s old enough and she know what she’s doing..
i was happy the time when i started to open up with her. i wrote in her diary when i was heartbroken.. i feel like i have a real sister (not literaly)…
when jego came, in which she call her best friend… things started to change… i mean, at first i didnt mind… i cant still feel like i have a sister anyway… and i was happy for her, coz she is happy…
jego is a little loud and sometimes a little irritating.. and sometimes i feel like she is somebody who is too friendly that you can no longer trust her… but i didnt mind it… i could be wrong.. i dont want to be judgemental..
my sister buy her things.. treat her to some restaurants.. i didnt really mind though.. she’s her “bestfriend” and its her money… my sister treats her as a sister anyway…
one day, she made an issue, that gave my sister a great heartache.. chinachansingan daw xa ni kuya paul.. when my sister heard that she was freaking out.. got totally furious at kuya paul.. threw his things outside the apt.. actually i helped.. i got a little mad too for breaking my sisters heart.. i was just a “little” mad because there is a small part of me that didnt believe the whole story… i saw how, my sister insulted kuya paul.. i saw kuya paul cried.. i tried to stop my sister… i feel for kuya paul… i saw how sincere kuya paul was…
anyway, that happened… by the way, my sister was pregnant by that time…
there was a time after kuya paul left, that my sister had a fight… i was from work… my sister sent me a message to buy food because she havent eaten breakfast and lunch and her tummy was aching… nag.iba yung mood ko… i felt like my sister is being unresponsible knowing she is carrying a baby… why not ask her so called “bestfriend” for food.. in which by that time d pa nakitira sa bahay pero may sarili nang susi… neweiz, i still bought food… nung nasa bahay na ako, may kausap ako sa phone… i really hate being disturbed when im on the phone.. kinukulit ako ni ate, at nataasan ko xa ng boses which started everything… i know it was my fault.. but it was also her fault coz she was 29, pregant and still workaholic, d bumibisita sa doctor kahit may schedule at d kumakain.. it disappointed me… i felt like the baby will die…. and yeah, sad to say it died, two months in her tummy..
i feel for my sister… she was totally depressed.. she wanted paul back but paul just had enough and she lost her baby… kaya kahit nababaliwala na ako at c jego na lang ang kinakausap nya, naiintindihan ko pa rin.. dahil “bestfriend” nga daw nya… my sister went back home together with jego.. honestly, it broke me knowing that she will be going back to our province without even telling me about her plans.. and she took jego with her, instead of me.. she even paid for jego’s ticket… i wanted to go with her but she said she doesnt have money… BUT SHE PAID FOR JEGO”S TICKET!… that was still fine for me, because i want my sister to move on and jego was her only friend.. nagtytyaga c jego sa kanya… kaya cge go.. i wanted to go back to our place because i miss my parents preo wla akong pera., at d ako nilibre ng ate ko..
eto pa, nagyabang xa kay jego na bibilhan nya ako ng celphone.. credit card pero babayaran ko sa kanya ng monthly, which i agreed kasi sira ung phone ko.. but everytime i humbly ask her if puede na.. natataasan ako ng boses at para syang nagagalit dahil wla daw syang pera.. pero nung hiniwalayan nya bf nya.. nalaman ko na yung bagong phone ng bf nya sa kanya pala galing.. kaya pala defensive silang dalawa na katas ng ot daw ang phone na yun… pero d ako umimik nun… nasaktan ako dahil “whatever happened to the saying blood is thicker than water?”… but i chose not to mind… my sister was still broken and irritable xa that time..
anyway, i have been planning to move out nah, kasi masyado na ako nasasaktan… konting kilos ko lang nagagalit na xa… feeling ko she never really like me staying with her.. she only likes jego.. c jego kasi, lagi nasa bahay.. minsan naasar na ako kasi c ate na may ari, wlang susi c jego meron…
one time, jego sent me an sms asking me if its ok if she can live with us… i repied.. i dont want a roomate… at magkakaistorboha lang kami.. i used to ask my sister if nerie can stay with us, she said the apt is just for family.. and now she let her bf lived with us and then her “bestfriend”?… i told her if she wants and since my sister would still choose her ako na lang aalis.. close kasi sila kesa samin.. nabaliwala ako…
kung kelan naging close na kami ng ate ko, umiksina naman tong si jego.. pero binaliwala ko.. i was thinking jego will help my sister move on..
jego said, d na lang daw xa titira sa bahay.. bibisita na lang din daw xa.. since ganun lang din naman… araw2 xa dun..
but eventualy, weeks after.. my sister talked to me and told me jego will be staying… wla ako magawa kundi mag.agree.. its her decision.. parang landlady ko na din kasi xa.. papalayasin ako ni ate kung magdidisagree ako..
one day, aalis na sana ako.. kasi d nah ako comfortable sa bahay… iba na environment… d ako pinapansin ng ate ko.. then one day jego told me that my sister said she doesnt like me.. im a hypocrite and all.. and that she only likes jego.. pero di nya sinabi sa akin yun in a way nah nagyabang xa.. parang kunyari nagshare2 lang kami kasi parehas kaming d matake ung attitude ni ate.. pero nasaktan ako dun.. i never imagine y sister will say that.. na mas gusto pa nya c “bestfriend”… dapat naman kasi talaga lilipat na ako nun pa.. kaso naunahan ako sa bahay…
neweiz, ilang months din ako dun sa bahay na tahimik lang.. i dont talk unles pagkinakasusap… one time din kasi na nagreach out na ako sa ate ko d nya ako pinansin.. sa internet shop pa yun hah.. gusto ko umalis pero d ko magawa.. kasi nga she is my sister.. i dont want to leave her.. sabi kasi ni mama, blood is thicker than water.. sabi ko sa sarili ko titiisin ko na lang kasi ayoko mawalay kay ate in times na kailangan nya ako at iwanan xa ni jego.. minsan naiiyak na ako sa loob ng kwarto kasi lagi na lang ako naiinsulto.. na para bang i dont exist.. everytime i bring food in our house it would be for everybody.. but kung c ate ang nagdadala para sa kainalang dalawa lang.. wlang trabaho c jego pero mga kinakain nya sosyal pa sa kinakain ko..
she promised me to give me her laptop pag may laptop na xa from work.. but one itme i charged my ipod, profile na ni jego yung nasa laptop.. kakareformat lang din kasi nun.. kaya parang nawalan na din ako ng gana…
honestly i felt so left out..
fast forward >>>>>
one day, tulog ako from work… my sister woke me up in the middle of my deep sleep.. ilang araw kaya akong wlang tulog nun at first time ko sanang makatulog ng mahaba haba… she woke me up coz according to her i banged the door.. binagsakan ko daw ng pinto c jego.. ewan ko kung ano ano na lang kasi tinatanim ni jego sa isip ni ate… naasar ako.. lalo na wla pa kao ng tulog…
kinausap ako ni ate pero sabi nya wla din daw naresolve.. tinanong ako ni jego kung ano problema ko at ano gusto ko para mawala asar ko.. in a sarcastic way pa yun hah.. naasar ako.. nashock ako kasi parang hala ang kapal ng muka nya… nakikitira na nga lang xa, palamunin na nga lang xa at ganun pa xa magsalita.. kaya sinagot ko lang xa ng “lumayas ka..”
at instead na mahiya xa at kausapin ako ng mabuti at magsori dahil sinira nya relasyon namin ni ate, bah nagreact ng kung ano ano.. she provoked to me to fight with her.. i rose from bed and went to her face.. inaway ko xa.. sarap nya sapakin talaga.. pinalayas ko xa, pero kapal nya.. sinabi ko nga sa kanya na sinira nya relasyon ni ate at paul pati na din sa amin.. pero ang kapal talaga… ang tagal na ni ate at ni kuya paul at since birth kapatid ko na si ate… pero pinili nya pa din c jego.. grabe ang galing mambola ni jego.. napaiko tnya utak ni ate..
at infairness, ako ang lumayas sa bahay.. dahil ako ang nahiya.. alam ko kasi na mas pipiliin ni ate c jego kesa sa akin…
nagets nyo bah people in the world of blogging?.. ako ang nahiya at lumayas na kapatid.. pero ang palamunin andun pa din..
i was totally broken.. i no longer beleive in blood is thicker than water.. she chose her so called bestfried over me.. feeling ko nga jowa nya yun eh… iba kasi turingan nila sa totoong bestfriend..
later, bumalik ako para kunin ibang gamit ko.. bah siniraan na naman ako.. hinampashmpas ko daw xa ng poster sa muka.. nahulog lang yun papel eh.. now i regret kugn bat d ko pa xa sinampal.. sabi nga ng friend ko ang bait ko daw.. kasi kung xa ako, sinapak na nya yun… wla ng madaming salita… ako kasi nirespeto ko pa ate ko..
but now, kakalimutan ko na xa.. i regret having a sister like her.. she chose her friend over me and forgot about me kaya kakalimutan ko na din xa.. from now on i only have two siblings…
ps.
oo kinuha ko yung airbed wla kasi ako matutulogan.. pero ibabalik ko din yun..i promise to pay her everything.. isa pa sabi nya nun bili xa airbed para sa kin.. at ayaw din naman nya ng airbed so i might as well use it.. pero promise ko talaga ill pay her everything..
wla na din akong kapatid.. five na lang kami sa family..
and oh by the way real name ni jego is
IMELDA ROCHELE DIEGO, makapal muka , relationship wrecker
